2002

If Wishes Were Genies

The sun parted the clouds to make way for the Faire's fifth season. In honor of this event, King Bertram declared a tournament to be held and offered a chalice (which had been in his family for nearly a generation) as the prize. Meanwhile, Queen Charlotte was being detained by her lady in waiting in order that King Bertram could summon his messenger. It was disclosed that the King was looking for a special anniversary gift for his wife. The knights were then introduced. Fighting for Mearth, King Bertram's champion Sir Liam, Sir Tobias and newcomer Sir Charles. Fighting for Dearth, King Davius' champion Sir Morgan, Sir Lara and Sir Wallace. The competition was about to begin when Darmokk the Wizard entered with Myla the Genie. Rather than competing for a hunk of metal, Darmokk offered that the Genie could grant a wish to the winner of each battle.

The first battle saw Sir Liam defeat Sir Morgan. For his wish, Sir Liam wished for the world to be round instead of flat. The Genie mumbled some words, waved her arms and with a puff of smoke the wish was granted, although everything looked pretty much the same. Sir Tobias claimed victory over Sir Wallace who wished for a feast that was fit for a king. The Genie worked her magic and in ran the messenger with a platter full of wonderful food that was presented to King Bertram instead. Perhaps Tobias should have worded his wish better.

Before the second round of competition, the King gathered his knights to ask if they had any suitable ideas for an anniversary gift. Naturally they didn't and the Queen who was occupied by her lady in waiting began to grow quite suspicious of all the secrecy. The next rounds of battle did not go well for Mearth as Sir Tobias lost to Sir Lara, who wished to be rich. Rather than receiving wealth beyond her imagination, the knight was dubbed Sir Rich. Sir Wallace was victorious over his battle with Sir Liam and wished to fly like a bird. By not specifying the type of bird, the sly Genie gave him the flight abilities of a chicken.

The King invited suitors from across the Kingdom to step forward, much to the dismay of Princess Genevra. Darmokk expressed quite an interest much to the dismay of the King. Bertram then invited the Kingdom to bring gifts for his... "cousin". The jester brought in a dragon, the messenger brought in a fairy and a potential defender of the kingdom brought in his dad. The Queen said that they were all lovely gifts but if it were up to her, she would have picked a unicorn. The tournament continued as Sir Morgan defeated Sir Liam. The female knight wished for a man to do her bidding but what she got instead was a man who auctioned her off in front of the court. After defeating Sir Lara, Sir Charles wished to be more heavily armed and with that his arms became so heavy that he could no longer stand straight.

Sir Charles with his heavy arms stood no chance against Sir Morgan, who fought half the battle blindfolded for a slight challenge. Morgan was bored with the tournament and wished that the stakes were higher. The Genie was all too eager to accommodate and declared that the losing kingdom would disappear for a thousand years! Sir Tobias handed Dearth another defeat by besting Sir Wallace. To better protect the kingdom, Tobias wished to be stronger. The cleaver Genie did not make Tobias physically stronger as he had hoped but made him smell stronger, much to the displeasure of the entire kingdom.

Prior to the next round of competition, King Bertram was disappointed that people have found cats and bats and elephants but no unicorn. His messenger stated that only a woman with a pure heart could find and tame a unicorn. With this, the King consulted his knights, however they could not think of a single innocent young woman in the entire kingdom. King Bertram announced that he was looking for a sweet young maiden just when the Queen entered the arena. She was quite upset but Bertram tried to convince her that the maiden was for his cousin.

The tournament continued as Sir Liam fought against Sir Lara. At one point in the battle, Sir Lara unknowingly backed into the area where Sir Tobias stood. The foul stench overcame her, which gave the win to Sir Liam who carried her away from the tournament arena. The next battle was fought between Sir Tobias and Sir Morgan who wrapped a scarf around her face to tolerate the smell. Sir Morgan won the bout but was upset that she had no choice but to wish that Tobias smelled like a rose.

As the tournament grew to a close, both Kings realized that one of their kingdoms would disappear for a thousand years. In order to prevent this from happening, both kings agreed that the final and deciding battle should result in a draw. The match between Sir Liam and Sir Wallace was very close. At one point both knights disarmed each other and it looked like a draw, until Master of Arms Gareth threw a dagger to Sir Wallace, who grabbed Sir Liam from behind and held him a knifepoint. The knights from Mearth ran into the ring to help Sir Liam while the knights from Dearth ran into the ring to even out the odds.

What followed was shear and utter chaos. It was difficult to follow who was fighting one another. In the end, the Mearth knights were able to surround the knights from Dearth. However, the Genie informed everyone that the skirmish was all for not, as the battle was over when Sir Liam conceded defeat. The Dearthians erupted in celebration as the Genie was preparing to make Mearth disappear. Sir Liam interrupted by claiming that he was still owed a wish from his battle with Sir Lara. The Genie, bound by her code, agreed to grant one wish to Sir Liam before expelling Mearth. The King's champion wished that the Genie was no longer a Genie but a mortal woman.

With Myla no longer able to grant wishes, both Kindoms were saved. Just then, Princess Ginevra entered the arena with a unicorn and delivered it to her father under one condition: that she herself would choose if, when and to whom she will marry. The King reluctantly agreed and presented the unicorn to his wife. Queen Charlotte was ecstatic and now understood the King's strange behavior. And with that, King Bertram drew the tournament to a close and everyone headed down to the ceili.